I just miss being important to someone. Like one of their main priorities… Being cared about. It’s the hardest part of being alone. I keep looking for affection in all the wrong places. Keep pretending in my head that I’m the one for him… and him… when I’m really not. It’s her. I gotta get used to the lonely life. It’s probably going to be around for awhile.
"However, our society thinks that success means having a car and a lot of money and looking as white as you can or as American as you can. Or if you’re white, looking as exotic as you can. We don’t have any idea that it’s about our hearts and our souls and how we treat the next person."
Erykah Badu
(Source: madametoutnnoire)
What I Crave Right Now
Love…
Hugs
Kisses
A Warm Body
Affection
Attention
Time
Honesty
Humility
Laughs
Smiles
Warm Feelings……
Is That Too Much To Ask?
God Is Really Teaching Me Patience Right Now
Patience… it’s what was talked about in the homily today. It the message, the answer I was looking for. The first partapf the journey that god will slowly reveal to me. The journey-the life, I was made to live. HIS plan. And I’m excited. I feel so much better today and life hasn’t gotten easier, it’s just my mindset that has changed. And it makes all the difference.
So basically… I’m lost. I don’t know what I want… Or who… or where I’m going. I have dreams, beautiful dreams, but. It’s almost like I pretend I don’t want them incase they don’t come true so I’m not disappointed. Like with him. I want him, but I pretend I don’t. Or maybe it’s just the idea of him that I had, that I finally realize is not reality? Or maybe just the fact that I love him when he doesn’t care about me? Idk. But it has me in my feelings and I’m lost. I always want to run and blame it on my flaws. My acne… my un-perfect features… but that’s not the case. There are so many amazing things about me, that outweigh my flaws. But maybe to him they’re the most important: my looks. It doesn’t matter that I’m smart and driven, trustworthy and kind. That I’m caring and giving and unselfish. That I care about him, that I love him. I think I’m having a hard time accepting reality…but I’m getting there.
